


Romance 101

by jjans



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Background Relationships, Choi Beomgyu-Centric, Choi Soobin Is Bad At Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Light Angst, Light-Hearted, M/M, Mentioned Bangtan Boys | BTS Member(s), Mentioned Jeon Jungkook, Mild Language, Oblivious, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Roommates, Secret Crush, Whipped Choi Beomgyu, Wholesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:54:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23801161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjans/pseuds/jjans
Summary: Have you ever had a super awkward crush on your teacher? You have that guilty feeling and you know it's wrong, but you just can't help it?Well, that's how Choi Beomgyu felt when he realized that he maybe had feelings for his best friend, his bandmate, his roomate, and his leader.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin
Comments: 30
Kudos: 130





	1. The Dilemma

**Author's Note:**

> Hello moas :) this is my first real fic so please leave any suggestions in the comments! Wrote this one bc I love soogyu and bc there are so little of these, so I hope you guys enjoy!

Have you ever had a super awkward crush on your teacher? You have that guilty feeling and you _ know _ it's wrong, but you just can't help it? Well, that's how Choi Beomgyu felt when he realized that he maybe had feelings for his best friend, his bandmate, his roomate, and his leader. It was irrational, he knew. It’s not like his crush was twenty years older than him, and nor did he assign homework. Despite that, it still rubbed him the wrong way.

The person of his affections was the one who he was with basically 24/7.  _ That _ didn’t make the situation any better. But he just couldn’t put his finger on what was bothering him about it. It’s not that he was a boy, no. Frankly, Beomgyu could care less. And he’s only one year older than Beomgyu. And he didn’t care that they were in a band. They only really were in the public eye for a fraction of their time together. 

The big problem was that it was  _ Soobin _ .

  
  
  


Oh, god. Can you imagine the situation? 

Soobin. The most oblivious guy you could ever meet. His roomate! Not to mention he was kind of bipolar. One minute he was teasing Beomgyu, the next he wanted to be all wholesome, which was definitely  _ not  _ good for Beomgyu’s heart. It was hard to bear his heartstrings being played around with that much.

So, yeah. He was now trying to manuever himself through his awkward affections, that weird ‘crush-on-a-teacher’ feeling without losing his sanity. And, for your information, he was this close. The good thing was, since Soobin was so utterly oblivious, it was easy to get off the hook, make up silly and implausible excuses without being caught.

  
  


As for his other bandmates however…

Taehyun saw right through him. He never brought it up face to face with Beomgyu, but he  _ definitely _ knew.  _ Definitely. _ He would side eye Beomgyu with these sly smirks, obviously saying ‘ _ That’s right, I know. And it’s kind of funny.’ _ As for Yeonjun, he’s not sure. He would always very skeptically look at Beomgyu when he would hook his arm around Soobin’s, almost jealously. 

  
  


Wait a second. Does Yeonjun like Soobin?

He didn’t know. He never really paid attention in all honesty. As for Hueningkai, Beomgyu knew, for a fact, that the youngest did not have a clue. He was too busy getting distracted by something random to notice Beomgyu’s fawning over the leader.

Speak of the devil.

The root of his storm of emotions stood right in front of him, smiling his goofy, oblivious smile. He bent his upper body, so he was at eye level with Beomgyu, his eyes shining eagerly, like a puppy’s do. He didn’t speak at all, just stood there, his eyes boring into Beomgyu’s, looking for a reaction. These days, that's all Beomgyu thought he was needed for, a  _ comical _ ,  _ flustered _ reaction, to pop some amusement into Soobin’s soul. It wasn’t always like this. When they were trainees, when it was really only the two of them, their relationship was a lot more exclusive, platonic then, but they shared heartfelt hugs and supportive words. But now, they’d made it. They didn’t need any  _ heartfelt hugs _ or  _ words of support _ . This doesn’t mean they never talked or hugged, it was just a lot more…  _ silly _ . And frustrating. Because Beomgyu had less moments to cherish now than he did in the past. 

His go-to tactic for dealing with his emotions, he simply disregarded them. More often than not, for the benefit of his own heart, Beomgyu ignored Soobin’s provocative attacks. That way, he could spare the pain and heartbreak. Now, it was causing a swirl of emotions in the pit of his stomach. 

He was tired of thinking. Done. 

Beomgyu dead panned right back at Soobin. That’s right! He wasn’t going to give Soobin the satisfaction of getting the best of him! Not today. Eat this, Soobin, you handsome man! Beomgyu suddenly jerked his head forwards, bringing their faces only inches apart. 

Soobin, startled, lost his balance and fell flat on his but, landing harshly on the kitchen tile. 

_ Yes. Victory is mine.  _ Beomgyu thought to himself. 

Soobin looked up at him with a pout. A pang of sadness pinched Beomgyu’s heart, but he ignored it. He deserved a victory. He raised an eyebrow, slapped a cunning smirk on his face, and looked Soobin in the eye. Maybe he was wrong, but he thought he saw the tips of Soobin’s ears grow red. Or maybe it was just a hopeful wish combined with the dimmed lights of the kitchen. He disregarded the thought. Just to rub it in that he won, he childishly stuck his tongue out, all while keeping eye contact. 

“Ah, Beomgyu, so mean… Let me have some fun!” Soobin whined as he stood back up.

  
  


“Huh?  _ You’re  _ the one who always has the fun! It’s my turn!” Beomgyu grouched as he turned towards their room. Why was he even in the kitchen? He had forgotten with Soobin’s sudden appearance. 

Whilst walking, he heard the muffled sound of Soobin’s footsteps accelerating, giving him the hint that he was being chased, he let out a small laugh as he accelerated his steps in an attempt to lock Soobin out of their room. He could hear Soobin’s shuffling getting closer behind him, but he was almost at the door. He reached his right hand out to grab the door handle, as soon as he began to turn it, a large hand was harshly planted on top of his, preventing him from opening the door. Compared to Beomgyu’s tiny hands, the width of Soobin’s hand completely covered his hands, leaving their fingers almost intertwined, solely for the purpose of keeping Beomgyu’s hand where it was, of course. 

From his peripheral, he could see Soobin’s left hand against the wall. He was trapped.  _ Totally  _ trapped. 

..

  
  


It was kinda hot though.

Beomgyu pursed his lips, slowly turned around, his right hand crossing across the front of his body, still enclosed by Soobin’s on the door handle. 

Holy  _ shit _ , Soobin was close. He was about five inches from Beomgyu’s face, his head cocked to the side, barely biting his bottom lip. 

Beomgyu angled his head up to meet Soobin’s gaze, smiling politely as if to plead for forgiveness. 

Soobin, taking a small step and shifting his weight to his right hip, whispered, “Beomgyu-ah, you know you can’t beat me. You’re just too tiny.”

Beomgyu wasn’t smiling anymore. He could feel how hot Soobin’s breath was against his face. Heat wallowed in his stomach, rising and painting his face pink.

  
  


“Ah, there it is!” Soobin excitedly spoke. He removed the hand that was against the wall and brought it to Beomgyu’s head, ruffling his hair, then brought it to his pocket.

“Come on, Gyu. Let’s get to bed.” He nonchalantly said this whilst turning the handle, both their hands still on it. As Soobin pushed the door open, Beomgyu stood still, letting his hand slip from under Soobin’s. The taller boy slipped past him, entering their room, leaving the Beomgyu gawking in the hallway.

The door slowly and dramatically closed. Beomgyu finally let out the breath he’d been holding since the beginning of the encounter. _God_ , he could feel how flustered he was. He was so overheated he could feel the waves of heat pulsing through his body. He fanned his face in an attempt to cool himself down, to little avail. Soobin did that as if it was nothing! Pinned him against the door super hot and all, then ruffled his hair and laughed like it was funny! Like it was a joke! It was definitely not fun _nor_ funny for Beomgyu. How could he do something suggestive like that then walk it off? 

  
  
  


Wallowing in his despair, Beomgyu sighed as he leaned against the door, his head hitting the wooden door with a soft thump.

  
  
  


How was he supposed to ignore  _ that _ ?

  
  



	2. Romantic, even

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soobin is affectionate as usual, but Beomgyu can't help but think it's more than just that.

If Beomgyu could describe his feelings towards Soobin, it would probably be love-hate. Except that’s two words, but you get the point. Sure, he really liked him, but there was, more often than not, times when all Beomgyu wanted to do was strangle his friend. It’s almost like he knew, and the elder was teasing him for the entertainment. But Beomgyu knew Soobin was too dense for that. It was just his personality. He was one of those touchy-feely kind of guys. 

That was the worst part.

Flashback to about 10 minutes ago. Beomgyu had just gotten out of the shower after an excruciatingly long practice. He had half-dried his hair off with a towel before giving in and just laying down on his bed, his legs splayed lazilly apart. He laid his head back on his pillow, blindly grabbing his phone and airpods off the nightstand. He hit play and closed his eyes. No distractions. Just music. 

One could only dream.

Apparently, in the period of his peace, his roommate had come out of the bathroom, fresh and clean, and decided that the perfect place for him to rest was, unbelievably so, not on his own bed, but between Beomgyu’s legs. He laid his back onto Beomgyu’s stomach, his head rested on the smaller’s chest. Soobin then nonchalantly took Beomgyu’s calves in his hand and wrapped them around his body, then letting his hands drift up to the younger’s knees. 

Beomgyu, to say the least, jumped at the display.

“Hey! Wha-”

“Shhh…. I’m tired. And you’re comfy.”

Well. it wasn’t all that bad. This close, and in such a... suggestive spot. It didn’t help that Soobin was drawing circles on Beomgyu’s knees, caressing him in such a way that seemed so caring. Beomgyu knew that's just the type of person he was, but he couldn’t help overthinking it.

He pressed the volume button on the side of his phone, until it couldn’t go anymore. Hopefully this would help distract him, and maybe stop the raising of his pulse.

The elder turned his head upwards, his eyebrows raising as he looked at his roommate.

“I can hear your heartbeat.”

Maybe Beomgyu’s heart stopped beating when Soobin said that instead. He held his breath. The elder was still gently massaging his knee and calf. An idea popped into Beomgyu’s head. 

He’d just act like he didn’t hear the elder. It made sense. He was listening to music at full volume. 

He slowly let out the breath he’d been holding in. 

‘What did you say?” Act confused.

“Oh, nothing.” Soobin’s eyes continued to stare into those of the smaller boy. After a few moments he moved his gaze back in front of him. Beomgyu decided to take out his airpods, to make it seem like he actually missed what Soobin said. They laid in silence for at least two minutes, with only the muffled sound of music from Beomgyu’s airpods playing in the room. 

Gradually, Soobin removed his hands from Beomgyu’s legs, and placed them on the outside of their bodies. As much as the younger dreaded the contact before, the places where Soobin’s hands danced seemed cold and incomplete. He longed for them to return. 

Lost in thought, he was abruptly brought back to reality when the older boy used his arms to move his body into Beomgyu’s, and move his face closer as well.

Soobin was still on his back, so it sounds like an odd position, but it seemed almost natural in the moment. He stopped when his head was just below the crook of the other’s neck, his head angled slightly.

Without a thought, Beomgyu wrapped his arms under the bigger male’s armpits, his hands meeting at the sternum of the elder’s chest. Oddly enough, Beomgyu’s heartbeat was slow and calm. Soobin then laid his hands on top on Beomgyu’s, running a comforting thumb over the younger’s forearm. Beomgyu could feel the hot breath of his roommate against his collarbone, His eyelashes against the crook of his own neck as Soobin blinked. Every point of contact, every slight movement, Beomgyu could feel it. His neck grew moist with Soobin’s humid breath.

He wanted to see. He wanted to see the look on his roommate's face. He wondered, was he sleeping? The steady breaths suggested that, but the thumb on his wrist said otherwise. 

He decided to take a chance and look. He slowly lowered his head, making sure not to nudge Soobin in any sort of way. If he was asleep, Beomgyu didn’t want to disturb him in any sort of way. 

Just his luck, when he looked down, he locked eyes with those of his Soobin, staring right back at him, almost longfully. 

Both retained their gazes. Beomgyu let his gaze drift to other parts of the latter’s face. His nose. His ear, his forehead. His lips. 

It was almost funny.

Beomgyu threw his head back and laughed out loud. No, it wasn’t  _ almost _ funny. It  _ was _ funny. Comical, even. How was he  _ not  _ supposed to catch feelings when they had moments like this? He kept on laughing, shaking his head.

“What’s so funny?”

Through his giggles and laughter, Beomgyu managed a simple, “You.”

Soobin raised an eyebrow in confusion. “I’m funny? What did I do that was funny?”

Beomgyu’s laughter faded as quickly as it had started. He sighed in grief. Why did he have to like someone like this? He really dug himself a grave, didn’t he?

“Hey, go back to where you belong.” 

No response. At this point, all Beomgyu wanted was to catch a break, and Soobin was being extremely counterproductive towards his wish. Besides, this was more than enough to satisfy his poor, lovesick heart. He didn't want to push his limits too much. Seconds passed with no response. Beomgyu went to slip his hands from under Soobin’s, but the bigger set of hands squeezed his wrists, stopping him in the process. The older boy returned his roomates hands back to where they were. His gaze fixated.

“Let’s just stay like this for a little bit longer.”

“Please.”

  
  


-

  
  


‘A little bit longer’ turned into all night. Apparently, they had both dozed off soon afterwards. They were forcefully awoken by the sound of loud knocking at the door. The first few moments were very muffled and vague, Beomgyu still half asleep. Was he still dreaming?

He was fully awoken when he felt a large weight lifted off of him, feeling empty with the vacancy. 

Beomgyu grumbled out a rough, “What’s going on?”

He looked to his alarm clock. 7:23. Today was an off day. What the hell were people doing knocking at their door at this hour?

“Soobin-ah!”

Yeonjun. Of course he called Soobin’s name. He’s probably come to take his roommate away to god knows where and for god knows how long. Assumably very long, considering it wasn’t even 7:30 AM.

To clear things up, Beomgyu definitely did not  _ hate  _ Yeonjun. Of course not. They had their wholesome moments together, and their relationship was very bipolar, but they were still close friends. If Beomgyu had to explain it, he’d say the tension between them rooted from the unspoken fact they both kind of had a thing for the leader, so they were in constant feuds. 

The calls (only to Soobin of course) did not cease. Beomgyu sat up suddenly and screamed, “What?!”

It really did come out meaner than Beomgyu meant to, but what did Yeonjun expect, knocking at  _ his _ door this early? This remark earned him a punch in the arm from his roommate.

He watched Soobin make his way to the door, opening it with a much-too-eager “Yeonjunnie-hyung!”

_ Gross. _ Beomgyu gagged at that. Yeonjunnie-Hyung?  _ Seriously _ ? Talk about cringe. Beomgyu pulled the blanket over his head, not wanting to view the stomach-wrenching sappiness that was about to go down.

He heard the oldest skip into the room as if it were his own, not a care in the world.  _ Eye roll _ . 

“So, Yeonjun-hyung, what brings you here so early?” he heard his roommate ask.

Yeah, Beomgyu would like to know the answer to that too. If Yeonjun hadn’t woken him, he at least would’ve slept until 10. At least.

“Let’s go on an outing today, Soobin-ah!”

An outing? Oh  _ come on, _ just say date. Who even says ‘outing’ these days? Not to mention it was sort of rude to say that in front of Beomgyu, since he obviously wasn’t invited. As if reading his thoughts, Soobin spoke,

“What about Beomgyu-”

“No. I don’t wanna.” The last thing he wanted to do was to third wheel, since obviously Yeonjun would be clinging to Soobin. He’d rather just lay in bed all day.

“Suit yourself.” The leader paused. “Yeah, I’ll go, just meet me downstairs in 15, okay?”

Yeonjun replied with what Beomgyu could only imagine as an enthusiastic nod before leaving. He still laid under the holy protection of his blanket, not wanting to face reality right now.

That was, until Soobin pried the blanket from his hands, practically flipping the younger boy.

“What’s wrong with you?” Was he serious? Like actually? Well, here are some things that are wrong: A, it’s 7:30 and an off day; B, He awoke to the sound of knocking and yelling; and C, The boy he liked was going on a date with another guy. But it’s not like he could say that out loud.

“I’m just tired. And I was sleeping really well,” he lied.

“You mean with me in your arms? Beomgyu~”

“Shut up. Just get ready for your  _ outing _ and let me sleep. And give me my blanket back.”

The elder threw the blanket at his face and headed to his closet. 

  
  


-

  
  


Beomgyu didn’t do much the rest of the day to say the least. He only left his room to grab snacks and drinks. The rest of his time was spent watching Netflix and sleeping. He’s been sleeping a lot these days. Needless to say, he wasn’t very productive, but it was an off day, so nobody could bicker him about it. 

Many times he found himself staring at his phone, wishing for a text to come from Soobin. He knew that the chances of that happening were slim to none, but he couldn’t help himself from dreaming. Beomgyu also found himself typing messages to his roommate, but never sending them. Shoot him a ‘ _ Hey! When will y'all get home? _ ’ or a  _ ‘Get me a souvenir! _ ’ or something. He was such a coward, typing messages and not having enough courage to go through with them. After a while, he powered his phone off completely so he couldn’t be distracted by them. 

The hours stretched long but also passed absurdly quick. Does that even make sense? Before he knew it, it was 8 o’clock. Great. He’d been lying in bed for basically 12 hours. He wasn’t upset about it or anything. Often, Beomgyu found himself lacking in many areas, especially motivation. Usually, Soobin was the only one to really notice and encourage him. But recently he’d been spending more time with the oldest member, leaving his dear roommate neglected, laying in bed all day. He just didn’t feel like doing  _ anything. _

To try and get some sort of emotion out of himself, he decided to put on  _ Train to Busan. _ He’d seen this movie countless times before but it still got him every time, each time as severe as the last. He knew what was going to happen, but he still got scared, and he still ended up bawling by the end. 

This time was no exception. By the time the movie ended, it was a little later than 10. Beomgyu was wallowing in his own tears, crying into his pillows, probably a little of snot and spit wetting the fabric as well. His eyes were probably very red and swollen, and his face puffy. He’d know for sure if he went to look in the mirror, but that was all the way in the bathroom. 

His crying episode was interrupted by the sound of voices in the hallway. 

_ It’s about time. _

He took one last, large breath to calm himself down before turning the tv and single lamp besides him off, and snuggled into his comforter. He didn’t really want to talk to anyone right now, especially those two after they’ve been together for more than half the day. Seriously, what did they do that lasted them 14 hours?

His pondering was broken by the door opening, and the outbreak of a few exhausted groans and unintelligible mumbling. 

“Soobin-ah, you’ve really drank too much.”

“Yeonjun-hyung, ‘m tired.” 

A chuckle. “Here Soobin-ah, you rest for now. I’ll go wash my face and change. I’ll be back.”

“..M’kay..”

The door being opened again. Closed. Silence for a bit.

  
  


“Beomgyu. Are you sleeping?”

“No.” 

He lifted the comforter off his body, then got out his bed. He stood for a second thinking about what he should do next. 

After finally deciding, he grabbed a sticky note from his desk, wrote a sloppy note about how he’d take care of his roommate for the night, then stuck it on the outside of the door. He made sure to lock it.

He turned the lamp next to Soobin’s bed on, to provide some light. Soobin’s cheeks were flushed a rosy blush, creeping from his jaw to his cheekbones. His eyes were slow and half lidded, and his forehead a little damp. He looked really handsome right now. 

“Soobin-hyung, can you get your clothes?”

“Nhhh.. You,” his roommate said while squirming and poking his lower lip out.

Beomgyu sighed. “Let’s take your jacket and shoes off.” 

Easier said than done. He struggled already trying to peel the jacket of his hyung’s body, and had to use all of his strength to pry off the boots. Beomgyu knew Soobin hated wearing socks to bed, so he took those off as well, trying to come into direct contact with them as little as possible. The things he did for the guy he liked. 

“Okay hyung, you’re going to have to take your clothes off while I get you some to sleep in.”

Grumbles of protest sounded. “Can’t you?”

Beomgyu’s cheeks flushed darker than that of the intoxicated Soobin.

“No, you have to do it.” He resorted to his roommate’s dresser, grabbing a random white t-shirt and a pair of boxers. It’s what he wore to bed every day. Beomgyu had quickly taken note of it. 

He turned to find the elder shirtless, sitting up with his arms supporting him. Thank heavens he still had pants on. He did have pants on,  _ right _ ? He was staring into the darkness, not really at anything distinguishable. In the dim light, Beomgyu could see the glisten of the sweat on his roommate’s skin, the way his ribs showed when he breathed in, and the way his adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed. 

He shook his head, and tossed the stack of clothes on the bed. He then retreated into the bathroom, wetting a rag to use to wipe the sweat from his face. When he returned, the elder boy was still in the same position, not having moved a muscle.

“Hey, I gave you your clothes, why didn’t you change?”

In response, his roommate flopped back on the bed.

Not really sure, Beomgyu sat besides where Soobin’s head was and moved the hair from his forehead. His glorious, holy forehead. Soobin’s eyes were still half awake, watching Beomgyu’s hand as he moved. He took to gently wiping the dampness from his face, being extra careful around his eyes. It was going somewhat smoothly until he got to his hyung’s lips.

They were cute, really, quaint and rabbit-like. He wen;t to gently wipe around them when Soobin’s lips stretched into a sheepish smile, a smooth giggle coming deep from his throat. Beomgyu could feel the rough vibrations of it through his hand. It sent a chill through him.

Once he was finally done tending to his face, he looked Soobin in the eye.

“Are you a toddler? Do you want me to put your shirt on too?”

It was a joke, obviously, but his tipsy roommate obviously didn't not get that, because he nodded emphatically, much like a child.

Beomgyu groaned, while retrieving the shirt. He might as well go along with it. Soobin probably wasn’t even going to remember once he woke up. 

After feeding his hands through the shirt, he turned to the elder.

“Arms, up hyung~” Soobin obediently did as he was told, a goofy smile splattered across his face.

He maneuvered his hyung’s arms through their appropriate places. When the shirt got to his head, he couldn't quite get his chin through, and got stuck for a second. It truly was endearing. He was like a kid. Beomgyu giggled at the sight, tugging the shirt down over his chin. Soobin gazed at him distanly while he did so. 

“Okay hyung, let’s get your shirt down.”

Soobin squirmed while Beomgyu pulled his shirt over his chest and down to his hips. He patted him on the chest a few times before continuing.

“Hyung, i’m not putting your pants on for you, sorry. Here, I’ll bring the towel back while you do that. Kay?”

The elder lazilly nodded before Beomgyu went to return the towel to the bathroom. After ringing it out, he tossed the towel in the hamper. Before leaving, he decided if he should bring his toothbrush to him, but that seemed like too much of a hassle.

“Hyung, are you ready?”

He got a sluggish “Mhm’ in response.

He peeked around the corner before entering completely. He looked to see his roommate fully clothed, and halfway under the comforter. He walked to the left of the bed and sat on the side, reaching over his roommate to grab the edge of the comforter to tuck him in.

Without warning, he was grabbed by his hips and pulled down towards the bed and into his roommate. The momentum had flung the comforter over them both, and Beomgyu didn’t make a sound. Soobin’s arms were still on his hips, and he could feel their feet touching. It felt hopelessly intimate.

The elder’s arms gradually wrapped tighter around the smaller’s waist, pulling him closer to his chest. Unexpectedly, he could feel Soobin’s face nuzzling his hair, inhaling the scent. His hyung  _ did _ tell him he liked the scent of his strawberry shampoo. 

Feeling a sudden rush of confidence, Beomgyu brought his hands to the older boy's chest, snuggling closer. Being extra bold, he did something he didn’t think he’d do in a million years. He brought his left leg to the side and bent it, laying it across Soobin’s stomach, his leg falling between those of his hyung. 

Contrary to the usual, Beomgyu was not very flustered. He was unanticipatedly calm and controlled. That being said, he wanted to savor this moment, Beomgyu cuddled up on his crush’s chest, Soobin’s head in his hair and arms around his slim waist. His leg across the larger boy’s body, their legs intertwined.

  
  
  


Deep down, he couldn’t disregard the itching feeling that this wasn't _ just _ hopelessly intimate. That it was simply intimate.  _ Romantic _ , even.

~~

(ps this one was based off that one one dream ep (i think you huys know which one lmao)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sosososososososo sorry this took so long but hey, 3k + words! I said these would get longer as I did more, so I hope i'm feeding you guys since we're basically starving rn. I really wanna become more frequent with the updates so please stay with me! 
> 
> xx, jj
> 
> twt: @jjbiggi


	3. Wide Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beomgyu's day starts off bad to say the least. But an unexpected encounter leaves him in a bit of a predicament.

Beomgyu often found himself thinking,  _ what would happen if him and Soobin did get together?  _ Dating was prohibited period, and he couldn’t imagine the backlash they’d get if he was exposed dating his own bandmate. Not to mention it’d probably make interactions with their other members ten times more awkward. 

But sometimes, it was easy to ignore it. He’d recognized his feelings for the older boy about a year after becoming a trainee. His feelings started appearing probably months before that. Looking back on it, Beomgyu was almost sure that he had romantic feelings for the leader ever since they met, but didn’t have the emotional intelligence at the time to identify it.

That being said, he couldn’t imagine how the other members would react if they had been caught in a relationship.

  
  
  


He awoke to an unpleasant cold rush of air brushing atop his skin. 

“Hyungs, what are you doing?”

Beomgyu’s eyes shot open quicker than ever. He turned his head to where the talking had come from.

Standing beside the bed stood their maknae, the comforter in his right hand, a blank smile on his face, and his eyes intimidatingly wide. He blinked.

Suddenly aware of the situation, and suddenly aware of the position they’d fallen asleep in, Beomgyu backed away from his roommate at an astounding speed. In his rush, he had miscalculated the amount of space there was to the edge of the bed, and had, foolishly, fallen backwards off the mattress, hitting his head on the way down with a  _ bang!  _ That was going to leave a knot. Probably a headache too.

He let out a sharp inhale of pain. 

“Hyung, are you okay? I didn’t mean to scare you.”

And here Beomgyu thought nobody could be more oblivious than Soobin. Apparently, he was wrong. He rubbed his head, trying to soothe the throbbing.

“Gyu, what the hell happened?” 

_ Crap _ . Was he asleep? Did he hear the maknae’s presuming words?

Deciding to play along with the youngest’s naivety, he explained, “Ah, I got surprised and hit my head when I fell.”

With these two, Beomgyu could practically make up any lie he wanted and they’d believe it. It was, especially in the case of his growing feelings, a double ended sword. 

“I’m okay, Kai. You just scared me a bit.” He got up, still rubbing his head. The maknae and his hyung came over to where he stood. Kai had his eyebrows furrowed in concern, the elder still yawning. He really hated these two. Beomgyu wasn’t even short, but these two sure made him feel like he was.

The elder shooed Beomgyu’s hand away and started to rub around on his head. He made eye contact with him and raised a questioning eyebrow as if to say here? Beomgyu nodded in response. It was wholesome for a second, until Soobin’s soft and caring facial expression was replaced with a dramatic pout and mocking words.

“Aww, Do you want me to kiss it better?”

_ Yes _ . “No.” Contrary to his thoughts, he slapped Soobin’s hand from it’s position on his head, halfway missing and in the process slapping his own head. The throbbing became more prominent.

‘I’m going to get ice.” He turned and began to leave, slipping a pair of shoes on.

“Hyung, I’ll come with you, wait up.”

He didn’t stop completely, but he slowed his pace so that the youngest caught up with him when they were outside the door. 

“Say, how’d you get into our room?”

“Oh, I found Soobin-hyung’s room key by the front door, so I thought I’d come return it to you.”

Beomgyu nodded in understanding. So  _ that _ was where his missing roomkey was. It’s been missing for about a week, leaving the younger boy to unlock their room. 

They’d finally reached the kitchen, and Beomgyu took a plastic ziplock from the pantry and filled it with ice from the fridge. He then wrapped a towel around it before sitting on a chair, leaning his elbow on the countertop. The younger sat next to him, his arms folded and his head laying on his arms. He looked up at him with curious eyes.

“Hyung, you weren’t surprised. I know you weren’t.”

Time stopped for a second.

“Hyung, what happened between you and Soobin-hyung? Roommates don’t cuddle like that.”

Okay, so maybe the maknae wasn’t as oblivious as Beomgyu thought him to be, and maybe Soobin truly was the most oblivious, because he believed Beomgyu’s bluff without question. How was he going to get himself out of this one?

He raised his eyebrows as if he was confused.

“What are you talking about, Kai? Nothing happened.”

Hueningkai raised his head from his arms and furrowed his eyebrows. He was serious. The ice pack suddenly did not feel cold on his head.

“Hyung, the way Soobin-hyung was holding you, the way you were holding him, the way your legs were-”

  
  


“Stop, Kai. Nothing happened. Soobin-hyung simply had too much to drink last night. He grabbed me while I was trying to tuck him in and I couldn’t escape his grip. That’s it. He probably doesn’t even remember it happening.”

The maknae sighed and leaned away from him. “Still…” The word faded off. “Nevermind, hyung.” His skeptical face was replaced with his usual bright smile.

Beomgyu smiled back, relieved that he had finally shaken the younger’s accusations.

“Say, hyung, today we’re going shopping as a group.”

Beomgyu blinked, unaware.

“Since when?”

“Since now.”   
  


“What? Said who?”

“Said me.” The youngest flashed him a big smile before running off to his room.

Moments later, a text came through in the group message. The time read 8:41.

-

_ Kai: Hyungs, we’re going shopping together! Meet downstairs @9:30!!! _

_ - _

What was he scheming?

  
  


~

Everybody had met in the lobby, except the leader. It was currently 9:32. Unsurprisingly, Soobin was running late. He usually took the most time to get ready. The rest of the members were waiting. Beomgyu had on a navy crew neck polo and a simple pair of white trousers, an outfit he had quickly thrown on while his roommate was still getting ready in the bathroom. He didn’t want to get chastised by the other members by waiting for Soobin, so he had decided to come down on his own. Plus, he was pretty positive that he had to distance himself from the leader to erase any suspicion from the maknae’s mind.

“I’m here! Sorry I’m late!” The leader came stumbling out the stairwell, his shoes still untied. Beomgyu began to bend down to tie his shoes for him, but stopped in his tracks.

“Your shoes are untied.” Soobin looked down, then proceeded to tie his shoes, the bunny-ears way. The way you were taught as a kid. Beomgyu was pretty sure that Soobin was the only person who never bothered to learn the easier way. It was endearing, and almost fitting. When he was done he stood up tall to signal that he was ready.

“Where do you want to go first, hyungs?”

“Huh? Weren't you the one who planned this in the first place?”

“Oh, right! You guys haven’t eaten yet, have you? Let's go get some food first.”

The maknae led them to the cafe about 3 blocks from their residence, a place they had gone often in their debuting days. Upon entering, they took their seats in their usual booth in the back.

Beomgyu found himself sandwiched between the wall and Soobin. On Soobin’s other side was,  _ you guessed it _ , Yeonjun. On the other side of the table sat the two youngest members. Of course, Yeonjun found it really essential that he was as close to the leader as possible, leaving Beomgyu smooshed up against the wall. A familiar throbbing began to return to his head. He had forgotten about that. 

He found both Kai and Taehyun staring at his own obviously unenthused face, as if expecting something.

“What?” The word sounded a lot more aggressive than intended. That was becoming a habit. 

Taehyun shook his head, showing his most innocent smile. “Nothing, hyung~” 

The waitress interrupted the tension, smiling politely. “Can I get you all something?”

They continued ordering. Beomgyu got what he usually did, strawberry waffles. The maknae had somehow convinced Taehyun to order the same cupcake waffles as him, and both Soobin and Yeonjun both got chocolate chip pancakes.  _ Gross _ . Usually, Soobin got strawberry waffles too, but not today, apparently.

Beomgyu didn’t really have an appetite anymore. He seriously felt like he was third- no,  _ fifth  _ wheeling, the two maknaes and the two eldest being disgustingly couple-like. So this was what being the middle child felt like?  _ Unwanted? _ At home, he was the youngest, so there was no lack of attention there. But here? It was a different story. 

He didn’t really eat at all, just played with his food, stabbing it with his fork, stirring it in the thick syrup before moving on and doing the same thing with another piece. He wasn’t really thinking at all either, in almost a trance-like state. His trance was interrupted by a sudden jab from Soobin’s elbow, sending the apple juice he had ordered toppling over and splashing all over him.

_ All. _ over him.

You name it, there was probably apple juice there. His face, his stomach, his pants, everywhere. A little had even dribbled down into his shoes, soaking his socks with the sticky liquid. 

The movement from the table had completely paused. Everyone freezed where they were, their eyes peering at Beomgyu’s face, his eyes closed in a pitiful attempt to protect himself in some sort of way. There was apple juice dripping from his hair even.

He exhaled and relaxed his shoulders, taking his fingertips and rubbing his eyes trying to get rid of the juice soaking his eyelashes. He pettily flicked his hands outwards, flinging some of the residual apple juice onto Yeonjun and Soobin. Soobin spoke up first.

“Beomgyu! I’m so sor-”

“I need to go to the bathroom. Please move.” Despite his formal words, his tone was threatening. 

The older two scrambled from their seats, allowing a path for him to leave his seat. He bit his tongue on his way out, trying to hold himself back from exploding. Nobody moved a muscle, except their heads unanimously turning as he walked towards the bathroom. 

His eyebrows sat low on his head. Not tensed in obvious anger, but relaxed in a different, less merciful fury. It really was not often that Beomgyu got mad. After all, he was supposed to be the mood maker of the group, so he couldn’t be upset. 

But today, it was different. It was a different type of anger. Not the playful type of anger, but really,  _ really _ furious. Once in the bathroom, he broke down. He didn’t have a fit of anger, he didn’t kick things, or punch things. 

He walked into a stall and locked it. He sat against the cold tile wall and began to cry. It was a kind of stupid reason to cry, so what? His drink spilled on him. It happens. It was a mistake. But for some reason, it was really frustrating him. It’s not like he was sad. His teeth were clenched as he sobbed, and his hands were clenched tightly with tufts of his dark hair. He pulled on his hair, until it hurt. This only made the pulsing in his head worse, to the point where it was no longer pulsing, but pounding in waves of pain. It was becoming hard to breath through his sharp sobs and gasps of air.

Eventually, he had calmed down. It must have been three minutes at least. He wasn’t really counting. He unlocked the stall and began to try to rinse his face in a hopeless effort to cleanse himself of the sticky residue of the apple juice. He just wanted to go home. But home was all the way back in Daegu. For now he would have to settle for the company residence. After making sure the splotches of redness around his eyes had disappeared, he swung open the door to exit. On the other side of the doorway was Soobin, his knees bent in a crouching position. He was biting his nails, his eyes staring guiltily up at Beomgyu. There was not even an ounce of residual anger in the younger’s eyes. 

He stood up, blinking. He opened his mouth up to say something, but Beomgyu stopped him.

“It’s okay, hyung. I’m not mad.”

He squeezed his way past the elder, their shoulder’s hitting in the process, forcing Soobin to take a step back. He grabbed Beomgyu’s wrist before he could escape.

“I’m sorry, I’ll-”

Beomgyu pried the leader’s hand off his wrist.

“Hey, I’m really not mad. I don’t care, it’s not like you did it on purpose.” He paused. “I’m gonna head home, It’s really sticky. You guys go ahead without me.” He slipped away from the leader, making his way to the booth. He didn’t look back. He didn’t want to see the look of pity on the leader’s face. He didn’t want pity. It might make him cry again. 

Once he had returned to the booth, the remaining members all had serious looks on their faces, their hands nervously placed in their laps. He decided to lift the mood. That was his job right? 

“What’s with all the serious faces? It’s not like you pushed me off a building.” The members looked up at him in anticipation.

“Anyways, I’m gonna head home. Seriously, apple juice is really sticky.” He made sure to emphasize the  _ sticky.  _ “But I want you guys to have a good time without me, okay? Just remember to buy me something.” His optimistic tone must have worked, because all the members seemed to be relieved and back to their usual selves. He grabbed his phone off the table before flashing a quick smile, sending a stretching pain to his temple. His head still hurt.

“See you guys later.” He turned and headed to the exit. In the reflection of the glass door, he could see that the leader had returned, and they all seemed to be in a good mood. He smiled to himself before pushing the door open. 

~

The walk back to the company building was not enjoyable. The wind was not making it any better, especially since he was soaked with apple juice. Eventually though, he had made it back. The first thing he did when he got back was take a shower. He turned the heat up as much as it would go. He really hated the feeling of apple juice on his skin. It was silly. No need to cry over spilt… apple juice. It burned and left his skin red and hot, but that was what he wanted. When he turned the knob, the absence of the heat raining against his back was undesirable. He had forgotten to turn the vent on, so the small bathroom was filled with hot, humid steam that covered the mirror and left the toilet lid with condensed water.

Before exiting the bathroom, he turned on the vent and closed the door on his way out. He changed into some cotton shorts and a t-shirt. He retrieved his Ryan plushie from his own bed before tossing his body on Soobin’s bed. He held his roommate's pillow tightly.  _ It smelled like him.  _ Like bread and cologne. In retrospect, it sounds like a horrible combination, but it was pleasant to Beomgyu, and it comforted him. It made the pounding in his head a little less prominent. If he closed his eyes, it was almost like he was embracing the real thing. 

Soon enough, he fell asleep, his arms and legs wrapped around the pillow, and his throw blanket lazily draped over him. 

  
  


When he returned to consciousness, he heard the sound of laughter and footsteps in the hallway. He closed his eyes again. He was sure that if they found him awake, they’d try talking to him, and he really didn’t want to talk.

He heard the door creak open, and then a whisper.

“He’s asleep, guys.” Then a few more indistinguishable whispers before the door closed and it was silent. From the doorway, Beomgyu laid with his back to Soobin, so he could only hear what was going on.

“And you get mad at me for sleeping in your bed.” 

He felt the bed sink as Soobin sat next to his ‘sleeping’ body. 

“Is that my pillow?” Beomgyu tried his best not to move.

“Cute.” Beomgyu’s heart sped up. Calling other members cute wasn’t out of the ordinary, but it felt different. He felt a cold hand caress his temple, contrasting his warm skin. The hand strayed down to his nape before carefully lifting his head and slipping an arm under it. The elder then took the weight off his arm, laying down on his side next to Beomgyu. Soobin’s unoccupied arm snaked around the younger’s waist, gently pulling him towards his body. Soobin’s head was resting in the crook of Beomgyu’s neck, and he could feel his breath against his cheek. His back was pressed into the elder’s chest, and Soobin’s legs were bent behind his. 

_ Was Soobin spooning him? _

Soobin’s head shifted, nuzzling Beomgyu’s neck.

“I heard you in the bathroom. Crying.”

Beomgyu held his breath and closed his eyes harder.

“You came out and acted like you were fine, but you were crying. And it was my fault.”

Beomgyu could feel the vibration from Soobin’s words on his neck. It gave him chills. He could hear Soobin’s heartbeat since he was holding him so tightly. It was synchronized with his own.

“I’m really sorry.” The words were genuine and kind. It felt like a dream. He didn’t want to wake up, he wanted it to last forever. He wanted to say that he didn’t need to say sorry, that he crying over something stupid, but that would blow his cover. 

Soobin’s head turned and moved closer to his own.

“I love you, Beomgyu. You know that, right?” He knew the words were platonic, but Beomgyu wanted to shout in joy. He was so overwhelmed with emotion that he had forgotten about his headache which was now less than a flutter in his head. He decided to turn his head a little, as if he were stirring in his sleep. This way, he might be able to get a small look at the expression on Soobin’s face. Was it blissful? Contempt?

The elder was taken aback by Beomgyu’s sudden movement, but relaxed soon after. Beomgyu’s eyes were closed, so he couldn’t tell, but their faces seemed so close. He could imagine the taller boy, looking at him with a euphoric expression, eyes skimming over his face, his lips, and-

Interrupting his daydream was something better. He could feel soft lips pressed against his own, delicately and carefully kissing him, as if he were afraid he’d wake up. The elder pulled away for a second, only to kiss him again, this time straying to the corner of his mouth, his eye, his nose, and back to his mouth. His lips were so warm against Beomgyu’s skin, leaving tingling sensations wherever they went. 

He opened his eyes, slowly at first, not wanting the elder to pull away. Soobin’s eyes were closed, his eyelashes splaying beautifully across his bottom lids. The breaths from his nose tickled Beomgyu’s cheeks. He subconsciously smiled a little bit in reaction.

Quickly realizing his own mistake, he shut his eyes again, going back to pretend sleeping. Any later and he would have gotten caught. The older quickly pulled away and opened his eyes, making sure that Beomgyu hadn’t woken up. But his roommate didn’t know that he was never asleep. He shifted a little more to make it believable. 

“Beomgyu?” 

He grunted as if he was only now stirring. He could feel Soobin smile in relief on his shoulder. Soon, the elder relaxed and rested his head back in the crook of Beomgyu’s neck. He tried to calm his heart, which was beating like crazy. But who could blame him? He was just kissed,  _ very intentionally _ , by the guy he’d had a crush on for years. 

As if intending to make his heart speed up again, Soobin turned his head and planted a chaste kiss on Beomgyu’s nape. He succeeded in doing so to say the least. 

Time passed slowly, and Beomgyu counted every time the pressure on his back increased from Soobin breathing. After a while, the breaths became rhythmic and deep, and Beomgyu could tell he’d fallen asleep. How was he able to fall asleep so fast? After telling his roommate he loved him, then kissing him, over and over again? And caressing him so gingerly?

_ Ah, that’s why. _

Because he had it in his mind that Beomgyu was asleep soundly the whole time.

_ And that’s why Beomgyu couldn’t go to sleep. _

  
  


Because all that time, he was wide awake.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told ya'll you'd like it ;) . btw whilst I was getting ready to post i was eating sour patch kids and i held the bag from the wrong side and all of the white granules came out. was a butt to clean up lol. Also i'm really gonna try to make updates longer in the future but i HAD to end it there <3


	4. "Hypothetically"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beomgyu gets a "reality check," or something like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took my so long to update... lol. I'll try to make the next update quicker it's just that everything is starting to get back to normal and that's lame. not to mention that it took me forever to find something to advance the plot <:( 
> 
> anyways hope ya'll enjoy <3

With Soobin’s  _ confession _ , or whatever it was, Beomgyu was left with a lot of thinking to do. Should he confront the leader about it? Or leave it a secret? He was left with a lot of options, but there was one that specifically appealed to his mind. It wasn’t often when the cunning and mischievous part of his personality reared its head, but it shone through now more than ever. His consciousness was drawn away from more sensible alternatives, and kept coming back to a certain idea. Because in this situation, Beomgyu had the advantage. He knew that Soobin felt  _ something _ towards him. And as much as he was happy about it, there was that voice in the back of his head that told him to take advantage of it all. He wanted to ponder the scenario more, but he found it hard to think about it because of the unpleasant ache in his neck. Last night his head was in a rather uncomfortable position, but he was too paranoid to adjust, not wanting to stir the larger boy wrapped around his own body, so he had chosen to neglect the awkward angle and just try to sleep.

It came to bite him in the butt, because he had woken up in an empty bed and with a dreadful soreness on the left side of his neck. It was currently 7 AM, so Beomgyu assumed that his roommate had left to eat something light before getting ready for practice. He decided to do so in the opposite order, so he headed to his closet to throw on a suitable outfit to dance in before making his way to the bathroom to do his usual routine. Afterwards, he grabbed his phone to start to the kitchen. He opened the door to his roommate, still in pajamas, reaching for the door handle.

_ Here was where his plan would start. _

He flashes his most ignorant smile, making sure to not give a clue of his knowledge.

“Oh, Good morning, hyung.” He made sure to accentuate the _ hyung _ . The elder boy swallowed before moving his eyes away from the contact of the smaller boy’s. 

“Good morning.” He spoke rather shyly, making a smile tug at the corner of Beomgyu’s lips, but he wasn’t done with his fun just yet.

“Slept well? You look well rested.” 

That got a rise out of him. He could visibly see his roommate growing more flushed and more panicked. He took a step back and started fiddling with his hands.  _ Cute _ .

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” he managed, tripping over his words a bit. A moment of stillness passed over them before Beomgyu broke the silence.

“Well, I’m going to eat something before practice. See you then~” He said it with a tilt of his head and a wink, then moved aside to let the older boy in. Soobin’s eyes followed him as he did it, his ears pink. He wished to see more of his face, but it thought it better not to in fear of getting caught staring.

In the kitchen, he ran into the maknae. Not literally, though. He made his presence known with a quick ‘Good morning’ before grabbing a banana and a protein bar out of the cabinet. While reaching to grab it, he felt a sharp pain in his neck, yelping out a small groan. Kai turned his attention to his bandmate, his eyebrows raised, cereal still in his mouth. After chewing, he spoke.

“What happened, hyung? Are you okay?”

Beomgyu rubbed his neck prior to responding. 

“Yeah, thank you. I just woke up with a crick in my neck.” The younger put his spoon down.

“Do you want me to massage it after we finish eating? In the practice room, I mean.”

Suddenly a plan started to form in Beomgyu’s head. He turned away from the maknae to hide the smirk forming on his face.

“Yeah, Kai. That’d be great.” He turned around once he finished composing himself, finding the youngest looking at him with a pleased smile. He smiled his best innocent smile back while simultaneously peeling his banana.

  
  


~

  
  


They sat near the front of the practice room, near the mirror, but not so far away from the door that it might be difficult to see them upon entering. He sat with his legs extended in front of him and his weight in his arms, the maknae behind him sitting criss-crossed. Beomgyu was hoping that he’d timed it right. Turned out, he had, because after a few minutes of being the only two present, the remaining members, including his target, entered. It was time to put on a show. Kai unknowingly got the other’s attention for him.

“Morning, hyungs.” They all responded with their usual formalities and hellos. He didn’t look for Soobin’s reaction just yet. He waited for them to sit down. Usually, they waited about ten minutes before actually starting, so he had to be patient.

Beomgyu started his master plan, with a falsified grunt of relief. It’s not like Hueningkai wasn’t good at massaging, he was pretty good, in fact. But Beomgyu really wanted to be a little more dramatic. The other members paid no attention. He looked in the mirror for Soobin’s reaction instead of directly at him. He was staring straight at the maknae and him. Beomgyu hid a smile. He carried on, letting a small groan of satisfaction escape from his lips. In the mirror, he saw the elder’s chest sink in a deep exhale. His Adam's apple bobbed, his gaze ten times more intimidating and serious. His gaze moved to meet Beomgyu’s in the mirror. He’d been caught staring, but this might even be more beneficial for him. He retained his gaze, looking back at Soobin with an emotionless face. The elder stared right back at him, his eyes never faltering. Beomgyu spoke, not blinking once. 

“Kai, you’re  _ really _ good at this.” The youngest, hopelessly oblivious at what was going on, responded enthusiastically.

“You think, hyung? Thank you.” Beomgyu bit back a smile. Kai was helping him and he didn’t even know it.

Their gazes still locked, he watched his roommate’s eyebrows furrow in the slightest and his jaw clench. This was seriously better than he’d planned. Abruptly, Soobin got to his feet and started towards them. He stopped when he was maybe two feet away, still staring at the younger. Beomgyu had to tilt his head back to keep his gaze before speaking.

“What’s up, hyung?” He was pulling off this ‘clueless’ act a lot better than he anticipated. The older cleared his throat before responding.

“I can do it.” The corner of his mouth twitched.

“Huh?” 

“I can massage your neck for you.”

Beomgyu blinked, displaying an innocent smile.

“Oh, that’s fine hyung. Kai’s doing an excellent job.” he heard a small laugh from behind him.

He broke eye contact with his roommate, now looking straight ahead. In his peripheral, he saw the older boy take a seat next to them. The maknae paid no attention to him. Meanwhile, Soobin put his eyes on Beomgyu. After a few moments he turned his head to meet Soobin’s gaze. His roommate was taken aback, and moved his eyes anywhere but to the younger boy, avoiding his gaze. 

He didn’t want to push his luck, so he arched his head backwards at the maknae.

“Thanks, Kai. I’m good now.” After seeing the youngest smile out of praise, he got to his feet.

“Let’s get started, everyone.”

  
  


~

The rest of the day had gone unusually smoothly, though his neck continued to bother him. Beomgyu managed through the gruelling practice, and the routine vocal lesson. There was less interaction with Soobin than he had hoped, but it was fine. He was satisfied with what had happened earlier. After vocal lessons, they’d gone to eat lunch, which did not include much talking since everybody was mutually drained at that point. After that they had a one hour break, which Beomgyu spent taking a nap in the lounge. Then they had their typical lessons in music production. That was their day. When listed out, it doesn’t seem like much, but Beomgyu could swear it felt like eternity. When they’d finished everything, they had time to do whatever they wanted. Some took a shower and called it a day, and some continued to be productive in some sort of way. Beomgyu usually spent his remaining time in his studio, composing. Most of the songs he made were no more than snippets, which all ended up in a folder labeled “Works in Progress.’ Progress was pushing it. Other times he would practice playing the piano. He already was familiar with a guitar, but he wanted to become more musically equipped. By the time he was done, it was usually a little later than seven. Around eleven hours of work. 

By the time he’d returned, Soobin was absent from their room, which was not unusual. He decided to get changed into his pajamas and get ready for bed, performing his normal routine of face-washing and teeth-brushing. When he was finished, he sat on the edge of his bed, feet hanging and back to the door. He opened twitter. 

It was really encouraging to see the group’s fans sending them such supporting words. It was one of the few things that kept him going. Once in a while, he’d chuckle at a tweet with a funny video or picture attached. 

From behind him, he heard the door open. Keeping his eyes on his phone, he spoke.

“Hey, hyung.” The small sound of shuffling footsteps emerged from behind him.

“Hi.” He was surprised when he felt the bed sinking from the weight of his roommate.

“Ah, hyung, would you like to join me? I'm reading moa’s tweets.” He turned his head a bit, keeping his eyes focused on his phone. 

“Nah.”

Contrary to the elder’s words, Beomgyu could feel the mattress dipping more as his roommate moved closer. He was confused at the elder’s intentions. Needless to say, he was caught off guard when Soobin wrapped his legs around Beomgyu’s waist. He held his breath, heat traveling through his body. He felt his roommate shift behind him, placing his hands on the younger’s neck.

His hands started moving, rubbing in circles on his neck, in just the right places. His roommate really did know him well. His hands were slow and relaxing, easing the tightness in his muscles. Beomgyu kept silent, holding back any grunts or groans. He really wasn’t looking to embarrass himself. 

“Am I not doing a good job?” Beomgyu was shocked out of his haze by the elder’s words. 

“Huh? What do you mean?” he fiddled with his hands to ease his nervousness. It was a good thing that his hyung could only see his back, since he was hopelessly blushing. Now that he thinks about it, it was pointless anyways since his ears were basically the same shade. He was brought back to reality with Soobin’s deep voice.

“When Kai was giving you a massage, I could tell that you were enjoying it.” He paused.

“Like, audibly.”

Beomgyu’s eyes, which were closed previously, shot open. If his roommate couldn’t tell he was blushing before, he could definitely tell now. His phone was now off, a result of him being totally distracted. His head was racing almost as fast as his heart. His crush basically- No, he  _ clearly  _ said that he wanted Beomgyu to make noises. Said noises that could easily be made in a  _ very  _ different situation. He struggled to find a suitable response.

“You’re weird, Soobin.” His roommate kept silent.

“Well, It’s not that… You’re doing really good hyung. It’s…” His words faded off as he brought his hands to his face in an effort to hide his distress. Soobin’s hands ceased movement, resting on the back of his neck.

“It’s what?”

Beomgyu removed his hands from his face and placed them nervously in his lap. He averted his gaze to the side. Even though they weren’t even face to face, he could feel his hyung’s eyes boring into the back of his neck. He took a deep breath.

“...It’s embarrassing.”

He waited nervously for a response, which was met with silence. Moments passed before he felt Soobin’s forehead rest against his nape. The elder’s hands found themselves under Beomgyu’s armpits, The older boy’s forearms on the sides of his chest. The sudden contact made the younger jump a bit before finally relaxing into his hyung’s embrace. 

The older’s hands began to stray. One hand rubbed along his collarbone and above his sternum, leaving heat where it went as his hyung’s hand caressed him gently. His other hand went up to his neck, stroking his Adam’s apple, sliding his fingers delicately across the ridge. They wandered under his chin, taking the younger’s skin between his fingers and kneading it softly. Beomgyu could feel the older’s fingernails, cold against his skin, pinching him slightly. It didn’t hurt. The opposite, actually. He kind of enjoyed their contrast to the temperature of his own skin. He felt his roommate’s head nuzzling into his neck, the tip of his nose rubbing against his spine.

Beomgyu cleared his throat in an attempt to calm himself down. He felt his roommate smile on his back. As a reaction, the older boy’s other hand drifted a bit lower, his fingertips brushing against the collar of Beomgyu’s t-shirt before slipping under the fabric and lower on his sternum, fingertips brushing over his ribs. Soobin’s head moved from it’s spot on his back and to the crook of the younger boy’s neck. He tensed his shoulder to brace himself for what might happen next, exposing his neck as he let out a small sound in reaction.

His breath hitched again when he felt the elder’s lips on his neck, just barely grazing over. He shut his eyes tight in expectancy. His bliss was replaced with annoyance when he felt Soobin’s teeth bite down on his neck, hard. 

“Hey! That Hurt!”

He elbowed his roommate’s ribs to pay him back, resulting in Soobin throwing his head back onto the bed. Just when Beomgyu was about to get up, the legs wrapped around his waist harshly pulled him back before the older boy put him in a headlock. Their intimate-moment-turned-wresting-match was paused immediately when the familiar ring of a notification came from Beomgyu’s phone.

He patted his hyung’s arm to signal that he was ready to surrender.

“Let me see who it is.” Soobin loosened his grip with a sigh. Beomgyu stood up from between his roommate’s legs and walked to the nightstand, tapping it once to open the lock screen. He was surprised to see that the text message came from his senior, Seokjin-hyung. Knowing that this was probably important he sat down on the other bed while entering his password. Soobin, neglected, pouted across from him. 

  
  


~

_ Jin-hyung: Hey, would you like to eat lunch with me tomorrow? _

~

Beomgyu was taken aback at the invitation. Why him? Like, really, he had six other group members who Beomgyu was sure would be glad to eat with him. Besides that, Beomgyu assumed that he would never in one thousand years be Jin-hyung's first pick out of the group. Was he going to talk to him about something? As far Beomgyu could remember, he had done nothing wrong. What was there to talk about? And why only him? Well, it wasn’t like he could tell his senior that he didn’t want to have lunch with him. That’d be so rude, and not to mention stupid. He would happily take this chance to spend time with an idol of his, but he worried about why he was invited in the first place. 

  
  


~

_ for sure! :Me _

_ Jin-hyung: Great! Meet me downstairs at noon. _

_ Alright hyung! :Me _

_ ~ _

  
  


Beomgyu looked up from his phone to see his roommate staring at him with his arms wrapped around a rabbit plushie. 

“Who is it?” He paused before answering. He didn’t want to get Soobin riled up. He was practically Jin-hyung’s number one fanboy.

“Uh, nothing. Just know i’m going out for lunch tomorrow.” The older boy raised an eyebrow.

“With who?” Beomgyu grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at his roommate.

“Stop asking questions!”

  
  


-

  
  


The hours leading up to his planned lunch with Jin-hyung were filled with stress and worry. He was distracted most of the time and got little done. The other member’s pointed it out but he brushed their remarks aside, dismissing it as a lack of rest. He grudgingly counted down the hours until lunch. Of course, he was excited, but casually eating lunch with someone with such an influence on the world was rather intimidating.

An hour before they were supposed to meet in downstairs, he took a shower and got dressed in an outfit he had planned out the night before. Soobin watched him as he pulled the striped shirt over his head. 

“Who’re you getting so dressed up for?” Beomgyu ignored the main point of his roommate’s comment.

“What? Am I too formal?”

“No, just you never really are this stressed about eating lunch with someone.” Beomgyu hecticly looked through his closet for bag.

“Except when it’s with me, of course.”

Beomgyu stopped in his tracks.  _ That  _ was unnecessary. He sighed before he continued his searching.

“I’m eating with someone important, so yeah, i’m nervous.” Soobin sat up before speaking. 

“Important like how?” Beomgyu, pulling a canvas bag from the back of his closet rolled his eyes before responding.

“Important like I look up to them.” Soobin nodded as he eagerly attempted to his the expression of relief on his face. Beomgyu smirked before speaking again.

“Don’t get the wrong idea, hyung.” He watched from the corner of his eye as his roommate’s ears went red and he turned his face away to hide the flush of his cheeks. 

Beomgyu put all of his belongings in the bag before heading towards the door. 

“See you later, Soobinie!”

He heard a surprised hum in response. Satisfied, he headed downstairs.

  
  


-

He met his senior on the ground floor, five minutes before noon. He was wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans. 

“Hey, hyung. I hope I didn’t keep you too long.” Jin looked up from his phone before grabbing his bag from the table besides him.

“Of course not.” He smiled. “Let’s go, shall we?”

With one last look at the elevator, Beomgyu took a deep breath before catching up with his senior. 

The walk was short. Only a couple of blocks. On their way, they made small talk. Beomgyu was relieved that their interactions were not awkward. He was in the middle of explaining how Soobin had lost his roomkey before Jin abruptly stopped in front of a quaint restaurant. Through the window, Beomgyu could see the shelves lined with plants, all well sustained. His hyung held the door open for him, so he was first to pass through the doorway, the comforting smell of freshly baked bread and coffee filling his senses. 

The older man led him to a table in the corner, probably best since it was hidden from the outside. One thing that was unspoken between them is that they  _ didn’t  _ want to be recognized.

After they sat, a man in his mid-fifties approached them, asking what drinks they’d like. Other than them, the restaurant was empty, to be expected since it was a weekday during work hours. The silence between the two males had grown a little too long for Beomgyu’s liking, so he decided to speak up first.

“So hyung, how’d you find this restaurant?” He genuinely wondered that. It seemed to be a nice place with good food, but if Jin-hyung hadn't brought him here, he never would’ve even glanced in it’s direction. 

Jin's eyes glazed over as a distant expression rested on his face.

“I used to come here with Jungkook a lot.”

_ Used?  _ As far as Beomgyu could tell, the two were very close, but he couldn’t help but recognize the bitterness in his senior’s tone. Had something happened between them? He decided to leave it there. He didn’t want to pry and come off as annoying. 

The comfortable silence between them was interrupted when the waiter came with their drinks. He left again soon after they told him their food orders.

“So hyung, why’d you invite  _ me _ to lunch?” A soft smile spread on Jin’s lips before he raised his head and met Beomgyu’s gaze.

“I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Beomgyu tried to keep a smile on his face despite his hands growing sweaty and nervousness growing in his chest.

“Um, shoot, I guess.”

The soft smile the older man had on face slowly melted away before he spoke.

“You like Soobin, right? Like, romantically.”

Beomgyu’s heart dropped. He diverted his gaze to calm his anxiousness.

“I like Soobin-hyung? What gave you that idea?” If he was going down, he was going down fighting.

“Don’t try to deny it, Beomgyu. I'm very observant.”

Beomgyu thought well before speaking again.

“Well, let’s say that, hypothetically, I  _ did _ like Soobin. What would you have to say about it?” He kept on his most confident smile.

“Hypothetically, of course,” He finished.

His hyung shifted in his seat.

“Well, I would  _ hypothetically _ say it’s a bad idea.”

Beomgyu almost dropped the coffee mug in his hands.

“What? Why would say that, hyung?” Noticing he responded suspiciously quickly, he added, “Hypothetically, I mean.”

Seokjin crossed his legs and laid back in his seat, a judgmental gaze fixing on the younger boy.

“Hmm... Hypothetically, I know someone. A friend. And hypothetically, he’s been in your situation. A similar one, I mean. And hypothetically, it didn’t turn out well.” Each  _ hypothetically _ seemed to be more emphasized than the last.

Beomgyu furrowed his eyebrows. Was he seriously referencing himself?

“How so? Hypothetically, obviously.”

The older man’s eyes glazed over with an unintelligible emotion.

“It’s just, it won’t work. With us- my friend, I mean, being an idol and all. With fanservice and schedules. You can end up really hurting yourself. You don’t want to put yourself through that kind of emotional toil.”

He sat, wallowing in what Beomgyu assumed to be sadness, stirring his coffee. His head shot up with urgency.

“Hypothetically.”

Beomgyu tried not to laugh. But he was thinking. If Seokjin-hyung had been in the same situation,  _ not  _ hypothetically, and it left him, someone who the younger thought was so strong in a heaping pile of sorrow, what would it do to Beomgyu if his and Soobin’s relationship went south? He decided he would ask more questions.

“Um, well, let’s say that hypothetically, Soobin liked me back. That is, _ if _ I liked him. Which I don’t.”

His hyung didn’t respond to him for a bit, just sat with his eyes locked on his coffee, deep in thought. Beomgyu was about to reiterate when he spoke.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, Beomgyu.” He seemed really serious this time.

“Look, as your senior, it’s my duty to look out for you. I don’t want to see you go through the same shit I had to go through. It wouldn’t be fair. Please, just take my advice. I don’t want to risk you getting hurt.”

He stood up before handing the waiter a crisp bill and grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair. 

“Oh, I meant my friend. I don’t want you to go through what my friend went through. Hypothetically, of course.” Beomgyu managed a rough smile despite the dozens of thoughts swirling in his head. 

“Naturally.”

  
  


~

The walk back to the hotel was comfortably silent, with Beomgyu trailing a few feet behind his senior. He walked with his head to the ground, deep in contemplation. He bumped into his hyung a few times. He was so preoccupied, he didn't notice how dark the sky was getting. He was surprised to see rain start pouring as soon as they got back to the dorms.

Before they parted ways in the elevator, Seokjin turned to Beomgyu.

“Just think about it, okay?”

Beomgyu managed a dazed nod before the doors closed. As he opened the door of his own dorm room, he was met with the bright eyes of his  _ hypothetical  _ crush, who bounded to his side and started with his usual affection.

“Hey, I saw you from the window with Seokjin-hyung! Why didn’t you tell me you were eating lunch with _ him _ ?” He went to pinch Beomgyu’s cheek, but the latter’s hand stopped him midway.

“Stop it, hyung. I’m really not in the mood for this.” Beomgyu dropped his roommate’s hand before trudging to his own bed and collapsing on top of it, a guilty and conflicted expression painting his face.

Behind him, Soobin was left stunned, staring at the hand in which Beomgyu had pushed away. The younger boy was unable to see his hyung’s expression, but he was told enough when he heard the door to their room open and close harshly.

In the silence of the room, Beomgyu began to cry. It hurt him to act so brash to the boy he liked, but he figured it was for the best. After all, Seokjin-hyung was  _ probably _ right.

  
It would  _ probably _ never turn out well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE MORE CHAPTER!!! dont worry, there will be a happy ending. :)))))))))

**Author's Note:**

> I'll probably update in the next few days, if time permits. Be aware that these chapters will probably get longer w/ time as I grow more experienced :)
> 
> also my twitter is @jjbiggi FOLLOW ME i have 0 followers lol 
> 
> ALSO i dint proofread this sooooo


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